I am Lauren. I am sick, in more ways then one. For 21 years I convinced myself that I had my issues under control. What I discovered is that this seems to be the societal norm: to swallow your problems, to ignore your imperfections, and to keep walking forward without a mention of the previous. I have decided something. I will no longer do the aforementioned. To stuff my issues, is a death wish.
Crest White Strips. Story of my life. I do absolutely nothing to take care of myself, especially that of my physical or mental health. Then I slap on a white strip to do a quick fix. Act as if all the harm I did never happened. Half an hour later I have perfectly sparkling teeth… or so it seems, until tomorrow when I again find myself slapping on just ‘one more strip’ because I chose to drink seven cups of coffee before
Its about time that I turn this around. I should have said: "Crest White Strips. Story of my life up until this point." I am ready to turn it around, my life that is...not the crest strip because I feel like that might be toxic somehow! I cannot guarantee that I won't use crest strips ever again but I am ready to admit that I have a problem. The excessive use of products like this tells me that I have a serious problem accepting myself without these body modifiers. I want to love myself not the product in my hair or the makeup on my face. Unfortunately with having Bi polar disorder comes a lack of self respect. Actually, what can come with it is a complete disgust for ones self. I am a prime example. With history of an eating disorder and something people like to call "tanorexia," I have shown many signs of dislike for what I was born with. Yet, as stated above I am willing and ready to change this disgust. It will take time, but luckily that's what me and my therapist have plenty of!
