How Do I Know If It's Right?

I always said I would just know,
I would just know.
But now I don't!

And how is it that giving advice,
is so much easier
than using it when you need to?

I want a rule book,
I want a guide,
someone to tell me it's right.

The problem is I always said,
the only person that can know,
is the person who asks.

And I don't.

Of course i can't turn down a challenge. So when my boyfriend made me promise that i wouldn't move my left hand until he got to my house, and since i gave my word, i treated that promise as if it were a marriage vow. At the time, i didn't realize how inconvenient it would be to have my left hand squeezing my right boob for so long. It wasn't until I started getting ready to see him (let me rephrase that, until I "tried" to get ready) that i realized how someone with a nub arm must feel immediately after they part with their limb. And although it's been nearly an hour, and I shouldn't complain because I have yet to experience phantom limb, it still sucks. It's a good thing I worked retail when I was a teenager, cause folding my boytoy's Valentines gift sans one hand could have been disaster without all the training I have received. I never thought I would be thanking Hollister for anything besides teaching me about unlawful discrimination! Besides the fact that I am, in fact, typing this blog with one hand (and no I am not doing it to honor my Dad or any other person that has yet to get with technology and learn how to type) I am doing this for a much different reason. Throughout this simple yet, painfully annoying exercise of boob grabbing, I have come to realize that I am not doing this to keep my promise. I am doing it because I'm stubborn. So instead of being the loyal-promise keeping-trusting type that I thought I was mere hours ago, I have quickly come to realize I'm actually just a hastoproveit-stubborn-chick!

Well at least I know what needs to be the topic of next weeks therapy session : /